I want a mustache, dammit!!! (perfectlylegal) wrote in brutally_wasted,
I want a mustache, dammit!!!
perfectlylegal
brutally_wasted

Intro/Mod Post

First of all, I just wanted to welcome everyone that has already joined the community and there are just a few things I wanted to say:

1. I'm not very good at this community stuff yet, but I'm giving it a shot. I hope it doesn't turn out to be a complete failure because I think it could be really fun. If anyone has any suggestions they wanna offer I can be reached at kygal214 on AIM.

2. Everyone knows I'm an idiot when it comes to computer stuff. I am just now starting to get HTML down. If someone thinks they may be able to spruce up the layout with some nifty images, I'd be totally down. I don't know how much you can do with a free account, but I dont really think this community needs a paid one and I'm not gonna fork out the $$.

3. PLEASE tell your friends! Make them join! Threaten their lives! Threaten the lives of their unborn children! Do something!

4. Ever notice how most of your pictures include yourself posing with drinks? Now you have some place to showcase them! Post drunken pictures also! That would be soooo funny.

And on with the show...

This community is perfect for me because I have so many stories I could share, but I couldn't decide which one I wanted to open with. The funny thing is, something just came to me tonight and oddly enough, it isn't a drunk story of my own.



Tonight I get off of work and I'm sitting here at my computer when my cell phone rings.

"Is Tina there?" The guy on the other end asks. I figure for some reason that this is a guy who I've met out at some random bar and as usual..they've fucked up my name.

"Well, this is Tashina," I say, "But not Tina. You must have the wrong number."
"How long have you had this number?" He asks.
"For over a year."
"Were you at a party this weekend?"
"Nope."

And then there is silence.

"Look." The guy says. "My name is David and I'm looking for a girl named Tina. I met her at a party this weekend and this was the number she gave me to call her on. She wrote it on a piece of paper and I'm looking at it right now. I need to find her. Some fucked up stuff happened."

I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry." I pause. "I wish I could help you."

"Maybe you can." The guy says. "Like I said some fucked up shit happened this weekend and I think she is behind it. I'm kind of freaking out and I just need someone to talk to. I can't talk to any of my friends about this and I am just freaking out here."

Before I realized what I was saying, I was asking him what happened.

The story goes like this....
David lives in a town about 30 minutes from here. This weekend he attended a party in this town. A work party. David says he and this girl Tina were hitting it off and she invited him downstairs to the basement of the guest's home to smoke a bowl. While they were down there, she offered to get him another drink and went upstairs to get him one. He says she came down with the drink and he sucked it down pretty fast. Soon after that, he started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. He couldn't understand anything she was saying and it felt as if he were underwater. He told her he needed to lie down. She led him into a room and he remembers her telling him that he could stay the night there and she would inform the owner of the house that he had gotten sick.

The next thing he remembers is being stripped from the waist down, groped, and then being butt sexed. By a co-worker, a black male.

So basically the guy was drugged, and butt raped, but was that why he was so freaked out???

Nope.

"The thing is," he said, "I got off like twice. Probably the hardest I ever have in my life. That fucking scares me!!! I don't know what to do!"

At this point, I was left wondering whether this call was for real or a joke. Something told me the dude was serious though.

"I've been drinking all night." He says. "And the sad thing is, I've been contemplating going to a porn shop just so I can buy a dildo! This is how fucked up i am!"

I apologized again and I hung up as fast as I could and then debated getting my number changed. Fucking weirdos...

But at least I know I'm not the only one that craves butt sex when drunk. ;/
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